Anyone who knows me, even just a little bit, knows how very proud I am to be a Texan. I was born in Fort Worth (where the West begins) and have spent all but eight years of my life here. Those eight years away felt like exile and it was with a glad heart that I returned recently to the land of my birth.

What I feel right now though is not pride, but anger, and a little bit of shame and I do not like this feeling.

Texas has always held itself out as a nation apart. We joined the United States but kept a stranglehold on the belief that the United States was the one truly benefiting. We may have a star on Old Glory, but we refuse to be cowed or conquered. Even my ex-husband, a Pennsylvanian who lived here for two years, agreed that Texas is like a whole other country. That was always metaphoric though, never fact. But now fuck-wit politicians with diarrhea of the mouth are rumbling about secession and our inalienable right to take our ball and go home because the big kids are being mean.

The only problem is, we can’t leave, not without bringing a shit-storm of epic proportions down upon us. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at a landmark case that to myself, and a good majority of intelligent people, pretty much concludes that WE CAN’T LEGALLY LEAVE.

Texas v. White is a case from 1869 in which the United States government was attempting to recover $10,000,000 worth of bonds that had been given to Texas in 1851. The rebelling Texas government authorized use of the bonds in 1862 to buy war supplies. Now the United States wanted their money back. The judgment that was eventually handed down is pretty clear-cut about our “right” regarding secession:

When, therefore, Texas became one of the United States, she entered into an indissoluble relation. All the obligations of perpetual union, and all the guaranties of republican government in the Union, attached at once to the State. The act which consummated her admission into the Union was something more than a compact; it was the incorporation of a new member into the political body. And it was final. The union between Texas and the other States was as complete, as perpetual, and as indissoluble as the union between the original States. There was no place for reconsideration or revocation, except through revolution or through consent of the States.

Essentially, if we secede we’re committing an act of revolution, of rebellion. What this means for Texas is that the aforementioned shit-storm is going to sweep into Texas on the backs of U.S. troops who are going to put down our bid for freedom quickly, and brutally. The act of secession would be considered an act of treason and traitors are put to death without question. Our esteemed governor, Rick Perry, would be signing his own death warrant.

Now the gruff and blustery Texas redneck would like to think that his gun, and his sense of rightness would protect him. And yes, Texas has more than it’s fair share of gun owners. This won’t save you buddy. Not by a long shot. Those federal troops are going to see you as an armed insurgent. And there’s more of them then there are of us.

The other side of this coin, that Texas is allowed to leave, “through consent of the States” means a whole other set of problems. It means that anything we cannot produce from inside our borders would have to be procured from without. Even if the rest of the U.S. is allowed to trade with us, the taxes would most likely be astronomical. In addition, our entire being would have to be rebuilt and restructured. All federal aid, federal jobs, military bases, it would all be gone. Countless jobs would be lost, healthcare would be in the toilet, scholarships and grants would disappear, which could lead to the closing of colleges and universities. We’d become a third-world backwater in the time it takes you to load your shotgun and barricade the house.

Those that are loudly proclaiming themselves “pro-secession” need to fully study and become aware of the ramifications of such a decision. Saber-rattling is all well and good until it leads to starving people who have nothing but the shirts on their backs. We need only reacquaint ourselves with the state of the South after the Civil War to see what our future would be.

I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom from Keith Olbermann. He says it far better then I ever could.

Tags: fuck-wittery, Keith Olbermann, really dumb ideas, secession, texas, wtf

And in fucked-up news of the day, Britain (that lasting bastion of civil rights) has enacted a brand-new program to catch possible criminals. According to Prison Planet, citizens are being encourage to report others who may be wearing an excessive amount of “bling” or driving overly ostentatious cars in these tough economic times.

Seriously. I’m not kidding. God I wish I was kidding but it’s true.

Posters for the campaign indicate that the targets of the stasi-like crackdown are well-dressed people who own expensive cars, boats and smoke cigars. Apparently, police in the UK think that actually being middle class and able to afford a nice lifestyle is a sign of probable criminal behavior.

Is there even a way to describe the sheer fuck-wittery of this campaign? When you actively encourage your citizens to spy on each other, you’re not that far off from a full-blown police state. The Inquisition, Nazi Germany, Communist Russia; all demanded this kind of behavior from people, but it started out with just a gentle nudge. The landslide that followed resulted in countless lost lives. We’re supposed to learn from the past but it seems that the lessons have been misunderstood.

For more information on this madness, you can visit Too Much Bling.

Tags: britain, fuck-wittery, police state, wtf

From a comment that was caught in the spam filter this morning:

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My favorite part? the infrequent countryside of the disconnections is not all that bothersome

Delicious.

Tags: delicious spam, e-mail, wtf

Stripping, and its more contested sister, prostitution, are volatile subjects in just about every circle. Some women feel the need to be righteously offended by it, while other women see it as a necessary evil, and still others see it as a fun diversion, something to be enjoyed. Is it about exploitation or female empowerment?

According to Shira Tarrant, in her recent Huff Po article

Others suggest that in a capitalist society women are free to choose stripping (or teasing or sucking or fucking) for cash. A simple case of contractual agreement, they might say. Yes, we all make choices. But some choices are more freely made than others. And that still doesn’t answer the question why men choose to buy women’s bodies and whether it’s time for them to stop.

(And just in case any commenters want to bring up the subject of child prostitution, that is a filthy abhorrence that has no justification anywhere, at any time. This post is about grown women and their choices.)

Both stripping and prostitution have roots that go back to ancient times; one could almost say the beginning of civilization.

The first striptease is said to have been performed by the goddess Inanna during her ascent to the underworld to attend to the funeral of her brother-in-law, Gud-gal-ana. The myth contains deeper meaning and ramifications behind her trip however the aspect that has survived down through history is the fact that during her descent Inanna removed her clothing in seven steps. This would later be reborn as the Dance of the Seven Veils, immortalized by Salome in the New Testament. This would be dramatized by Oscar Wilde in his play “Salome” in 1893, and an operatic version in 1905. After this, the Dance of the Seven Veils became a staple of early burlesque shows. It’s roots were lost in history but it did indeed have a spiritual beginning.

The same is true for prostitution. The first known aspects of prostitution date back to 18th century Mesopotamia and the women (and men) of the temples. In matriarchal societies, women held the power of life. They were rulers, leaders, priestesses and goddesses-on-earth. Though this would change later with the advent of patriarchal religions, prostitution remained. Almost every race and religious group had a class of prostitutes comfortably ensconced. From Greece to Japan, Rome to India, these women and not a few men, practiced their art and charged exorbitant sums for the pleasure of their company.

Unfortunately, as time moved on, the prostitute became little more then a whore and respect for what she had to provide was lost. History, and feminist rhetoric is rife with stories of women exploited, abused, pimped out against their will, all for the titillation of men. Where does that leave us now?

While stripping is a pretty common staple the world over, the level of prostitution varies depending on the country. While it’s common knowledge that prostitution exists, no matter the legality, some countries do allow it, considering it just another job. In some countries, prostitution is legal but advertising it is not. Even in the U.S., it is legal in some parts of Nevada and in Rhode Island it is not specifically regulated however it is illegal to have a brothel or to solicit on the street.

So where does all this leave us? It leaves us contemplating, discussing, and arguing about, the women in the middle of the storm. Do strippers and prostitutes make a conscious, knowing, informed decision to sell their bodies for the titillation of men or are they truly victims of a male-centric system? While it is a sad fact that there are women who have entered these professions due to poverty, coercion, or any combination of terrible life events, there are women who do this simply because they want to. They feel empowered by the simple fact that men are shucking out fistfuls of dollars to see a nice set of boobs.

My personal belief is that a woman’s body is her own. If she wants to make money of off her goddess-given parts and abilities, that should be her choice. I am staunchly of the opinion that, much like the legalization of marijuana, the broad legalization and regulation of prostitution could lead to a marked decrease in crime and allow for our martial resources to be used for more important, and severe criminals. And too, if we insist on marching for our rights to make our own reproductive decision, shouldn’t we also be allowed to make our own sexual decisions as well?

Tags: culture, prostitution, stripping, women

When I first signed up for Twitter I did it purely as a means to update my blog when I wasn’t able to actually log in and do it. I wasn’t that familiar with Twitter and so it didn’t occur to me that people might actually follow me. I followed book publishers and authors but I was shocked as hell when people actually started following me. Random people too. People I didn’t know who had come across my blog and liked it.

I’ve met quite a few interesting people now through Twitter and I do find it to be a valuable tool for networking. My beef comes in with the douchebags who are only on to market their crap, or gain as many followers as possible. If you start following me, and your full of crap, I will block you. I will not follow you in return. Plain and simple. I do not get this burning need to acquire 500, or 1000, or 1 million followers. Who fucking cares how many followers you have in the grand scheme of things? Does it make your life better? No, I didn’t think so.

It’s the same problem I have with MySpace and Facebook. On MySpace it’s the random “add” requests from people that I have never spoken with and most likely never will. On Facebook it’s the people that you went to highschool with but never ever spoke to and now, 15 years later they want to “be friends” on Facebook. WTH? You didn’t like me in highschool and now you want to be “friends” but after the initial add, you never speak to me? Here’s a tip: you’re in your fucking 30’s; no one cares about your popularity now. Indeed, I never did back then.

So what exactly am I trying to say here? I really don’t know. On the whole, I’m mainly curious about why people follow me on Twitter. I don’t find myself to be terribly interesting. And no, this isn’t a falsely self-deprecating need to hear about how loved I am. I’m truly curious. And to that end, I’ve made a poll!

Tags: facebook, myspace, new media, polls, twitter

Some idiot has decided that we can now replace actual human substitute-teachers with effing robots. Meet Saya-sensei. Created by Hiroshi Kobayashi, a Tokyo University of Science professor, Saya was introduced to a Tokyo classroom early this year. Unfortunately (or fortunately) about the only thing she can do right now is take roll-call and tell kids to be quiet.

Just give her time. Just give her time people. Meanwhile I’ll be building my bunker.

Info courtesy of the NY Daily News.

Tags: do not want, effing creepy, robot apocalypse, robots

Artist Bethalynne Bajema has a new and stunning book coming out this month. Bajema’s Web Collection II: Etta Diem is a lovely blend of steampunk/dark fantasy and includes

Etta’s encyclopedia of Harmful Sensation, her mostly true stories of the strange and quirky (like the tale of the prostitute popular during the Jack the Ripper times, who was singled out by her chattering teeth… that didn’t happen to be in her mouth) and a variety of other dark humor tales from Victorian times.

There was a special pre-sale offer going on but it appears that it has sold out. The only date given for general release is May 2009 so take a jaunt over to the site and check it out.

Tags: bethalynne bajema, steampunk art, victorian humor

If you aren’t familiar with Skin.Graft Designs you need to familiarize yourself with them NOW. They have created some of the most amazing, post-apocalyptically steampunk attire I have ever seen. I’m posting a few pieces from their current collection but you really need to visit the site to see the full glory of their creations.

Tags: couture, i want!, skin.graft designs, Steampunk

Yea, that’s right… robotic spiders FTL. From La Machine, the fuckwits that brought us the original robotic spider, we now have TWO robotic spiders and they’re preparing to wreak havoc in Yokohama at the Y150 event.

Although the Expo Y150 festivities are not scheduled to officially begin until the end of April, the enormous steampunk spiders could be seen prowling the Yokohama waterfront this weekend.

For more apocalypse-tastic footage take a gander at the video… and then start praying, and loading your shotguns.

Tags: certain death, la machine, robot apocalypse, robotic spiders

A home owner in Devon, in the UK, recently found a mummified cat in his bathroom wall. Seriously, a mummified cat. It’s believed that the cat has been there about 400 years and he doesn’t look to happy to have been placed there.

According to this article:

Cats were often put into walls as some kind of good luck charm.

They seem to be designed to keep away witches, the evil eye, bad luck, vermin, anything that can be seen as a threat to the house.

Umhm… I would think a bigger threat to the house would be the cat’s angry spirit coming back to rip the almighty crap out of everyone living there. Am I the only one who remembers that scene from The Gate with the dead workman in the wall? If you need a refresher, watch this. You can skip ahead to 3:50 to get right to the action.

Tags: mummy cat, the gate, witchcraft, witches